Kitchen floor: version 28, but who's counting

We've considered ceramic tile, vinyl tile, sheet vinyl, pre-finished wood snap-together boards, industrial locking tile, and others. Most just won't work with the irregular floor, so now we've manufactured our own special 1/4" plywood planks with custom painting and distressing.

Here's Joan with the first coating of primer.

Boards drying after prime coat

Finished boards curing on sun porch

The flooring is made from 1/4" B-C plywood, ripped to 6" and 8" widths by a cheerful Home Depot employee. Joan primed them with diluted black paint, then slapped on a coat of white, then used a scraper, hammer, chain, and other implements of torture to distress the wood.

Next: Installing the floor